Thursday, 24 November 2011

The Funny Side of a Catastrophe

I felt as if I'd received a high voltage shock. I blinked and gasped in horror as I looked at my marks. Impossible was the word that kept running across my eyes. How could I have scored so low? If I'd expected this it wouldn't have been so bad but not to have expected such a thing was - horrible! Where was ESP or Macbeth's witches? Why hadn't there been hail and thunder all night? How could the morning be so bright and promising?

I won't get into all the tears and drama that followed. That wouldn't be remotely amusing. Unless of course I wanted to play the tragic heroine. Yes, then indeed there is great scope for I'm rather good at crying! But the funny side is what I rather dwell on. As Eliot said, true writing only begins when the grief is put aside - though I'm not sure he'd wholly approve of my style.

Thus, I put on a brave face hiding my great woe. Sniff, sniff... I hope you can empathise on that front with me. Actually I'm happy that happened. I've never had such a jolt in the past twenty years of my life so this was a new experience. Though not pleasant. 

It's fascinating how tiny things can move us so much if we give them such a lot of importance. That made me re-consider certain things. Many times in life we feel that people or the situation we are in is stifling or hurting us. Is it really true or are we the ones who are granting it that power? 

Indulging in the grief of the moment is fine I guess but I think I'll go along with Donne's 'Valediction Forbidding Moaning'. I hereby affirm that I will mourn no longer on the pyre of my futile marks on that paper. Or else I'll content myself with heroically bearing the grief of the moment!    

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